The most egregious examples of mothers who do not have a grip on their Mama Skilz can be found on an evil website called www.mothering.com. Now, you might think - what could be wrong with an virtual community of MOTHERS, for Christ's sake, chit chatting about their babies on something as innocuous-sounding as mothering.com? What could be more generic? Truth be told, www.mothering.com is a festering cesspool of what can only be described as insane MAMAZ who put their children and the children of others at risk every single day because they essentially enjoy engaging in a pissing match over who can be crunchier. They get off on espousing bizarre and unfounded beliefs about pregnancy, childbirth, breastfeeding, discipline, nutrition, health care and education. The more outlandish, the more the other mothers revere you. It's amusing to troll the site for a while, and here and there you might pick of an tiny kernel of decent information, but by and large what you will find is something to the tune of:
Do you believe in alternative causes of AIDS? Tell me about them! The more links, the better!
This. Mmm kay. Now, you might want to blow it off as just one wacky wing nut wanting to hear far-fetched ideas about "alternative" (I assume that means other than transmission of the HIV) ways AIDS is caused. But you might be surprised that another "Mama" on this "Health and Healing" message board (bored?) replied with:
Totally interested but never really looked/researched. Does vax causing AIDS to be spread count?
Because apparently the vaccines the rest of us normal people believe keep our kids nice and safe, cause AIDS. Shocking, because you know, I've never met a child with AIDS that was caused by a vaccine. But who knows? Maybe these Mamaz (they all call each other "Mama" because, you know, a good mother must sacrifice her actual name and identity on the altar of crunchiness once she "births" her "babe") are more knowledgeable than I. Case in point, this is posted by an internet-addicted granny in response to a mother who took her baby to the ER after days and days of vomiting and dehydration:
Although for vomiting I would have only used the BRAD diet which you basically did. Good for you. I don't know whether I would have taken her to the ER though. Medicine was not really necessary imo.
Yes, because YOU know, Grams. Because you are a doctor. Or a nurse. Oh wait, you are a nutty old lady on MDC who has amassed nearly 14,000 posts, most of which classify you as a clinical psycho. Strangely, this makes you like a Jedi Knight of the Crazy Mama Cult (CMC.) I wonder where anyone gets off telling the mother of a very sick child that medication was not necessary "imo." Or why on Earth anyone would admit to:
About 1 month after my delivery, DP went to his friend's house, placenta in hand. They removed the membrane and cord and boiled the whole thing in a pot that is now dedicated to this process, with some ginger root. This was a full boil, for 20 min or so. Then, they removed the placenta and allowed it to cool. After that, they cut the whole thing into approx. 2" segments, and baked at a low heat - I think 180 degrees - for 6 hours or so.
They just used one of those hand held chopper/mixers to grind the placenta up into a rough powder. They already had this device on hand, I don't know what it's called but pharmacists use it, where you can divide powder and it has a tiny spout to pour the powder coming off of a tube. We bought our gelatin capsules at a health food store, locally.
There is NO evidence that shows that eating your placenta (the very thought gives me the willies) contributes to better outcomes regarding post-partum depression, and yet the Mamaz on MDC continue to espouse this disgusting and bizarre practice as though it were as normal as brushing one's teeth. Another typical MDC post:
I agree. Soon they'll tell us it's "normal" to lose speech after the MMR vaccine.
So sad that kids have to go through that.
Most likely he had some neurons die off after the shot and that is what caused it. They will have to rebuild.
BTW, it's not "his shots". That dangerous medicine belongs to big pHARMa and does a lot of HARM.
This was in response to someone who asked about a baby that "lost his words" soon after having received an MMR vaccine. Yeah. Study after study can show that the MMR does not cause Autism - but the conspiracy theorists on MDC know better. They know that BIG pHARMa (LOL!) loves to hurt kids for the money! Those money-grubbing eradicators of polio and diptheria! And it's been covered up for YEARS! Oh well, the kids can always rebuild their neurons, right? Or they can rot away in front of a computer all day. This gem from the "unschooling" thread:
My children are 6.75, 2.75 and 1. I try to allow my children the freedom to choose their activities. Yesterday for example, the two older ones were on the TV, then the Wii, then the computer for a solid 5 hour block. I do end up trying to distract them from the lure of the screen, and at times, we, more so my dh, will say no more computer time. It seems like they would prefer to be on the screen 24X7. In fact, a number of times, we are all in bed by 11pm except for the 6 year old who will stay up who knows how late on the computer. And once, she got up in the middle of the night around 3am and got on the computer.
Because you know how detrimental it is to kids when you tell them enough is enough! Heaven forbid we ever MAKE them do anything THEY DON'T WANT TO DO! THAT would go against all the tenents of Consensual Living, Gentle Guidance, and NAET!
Okay, enough. As a MAMA, I am disgusted. And tired. And I am going back in 20 minutes to see what happens next. Grab your popcorn - or your barf bag. But please put away those playsilks and homeopathic vaccines.
24 comments:
Wow! I knew it was bad "out there" but that's just out of control. Now I need to go read that crap for myself.
are you sure you're not on CafeMom? lol.....all those women do is debate about vacs, circs, schooling, and other such stuff.......I mean really. I'd love to have the kind of time it must take to respond to all those posts...and vacs causing AIDS? What will they think of next? I better ask my pediatrician about that one when I take Liam in on Wednesday for his 2 month.........good grief...
Hi Mo! found you through Zoey's site...I thought is that Maureen, Kathleens daughter?? You are too funny!! I love your blog especially todays! What a riot, I have seen these internet cults and they are hilarious!! The vaccine thing kills me. I couldn't believe when I took Addison in for her shots they asked me if I wanted her vaccinated..WHAT?!?! I sure don't want my kids going to school with those MAMAs kids..yikes!
Your children are absolutely adorable!!
Ships "berth", mammals give birth.
As a recently retired midwife and homeschooling mother of 4, I can tell you that you are spot on about Mothering.com and I know I am supposed to be in support of such nonsense but, the truth is, it's a dangerous and "high risk" website! I've been smiling broadly while reading your post as I just completed a simliar "rant" on my own blog ( a secondary blog, actually; it can be found by heading to my main blog and then looking "left" for my other two, the rest will be obvious ) as part of the reason I left Midwifery was over the dramatic shift in demographic from parents who were, admittedly, of the "natural living" demo but were largely sensible adults and good parents. Over the last 10 years, I've been watching as random bits of information have been elevated to what is believed to be "knowledge" and wisdom? Intuitive "good mothering/parenting"? Fugedaboutit.....Very good post. I'm glad I was referred over!
That was a very badly written comment I just left you; this is what one gets for getting medication for a very nasty sinus infection ( another dastardly plot by the AMA no doubt, intended to make a mockery of my reputation as a writer LOL ) that is making me a bit loopy and sleepy. I'll do better next time, I'm sure.
An amazingly accurate post, well said!
A lot of these Internet "mothering" forums place an emphasis on how good of a mother you are based on your post count. I see people well into the 5 digit range after only 2 or 3 years.
For the mathematically disinclined that is 10-20 posts a day, every single day (no holidays or weekends off). Assuming the average person reads more than writes I question the quality of care they are giving when they are spending a significant chunk of their time everyday on the computer.
I find it ironic when one of these "Mother Superior"s posts about how her husband isn't responding to her anymore. Here's a hint - he is tired of talking to the back of your head!
Right on!! This website is dangerous. Signed, someone who spent far too much time there before I figured it out.
"I find it ironic when one of these "Mother Superior"s posts about how her husband isn't responding to her anymore. Here's a hint - he is tired of talking to the back of your head!"
So true! Especially since none of the husbands are allowed to partake in childcare duties, the children must be sorely neglected. Oh wait, maybe they are radically unschooling THEMSELVES while MAMA is hacking away at the keyboard. Gotta up that post count!
Spot on, and a brilliant read!
"As a recently retired midwife and homeschooling mother of 4, I can tell you that you are spot on about Mothering.com and I know I am supposed to be in support of such nonsense but, the truth is, it's a dangerous and "high risk" website!"
As a home-birthing, extended nursing mother of two, I agree with you 100%. The stupidity of the average MDC MAMA is only exacerbated by her delusion of being "informed."
"Don't you have any faith in your innate mothering abilities? I am all for the "phone a friend" option - seeking the input from another mother whom you know and trust. But the internet? A message board? Strangers offering their "sage" wisdom on your child's health/behavior/personality/toileting habits? Bitches; please."
Women don't have any faith in their innate mothering abilities because I don't think that mothering is really innate. It's innate to love your child, but we forget that in the past women were raising their children in extended family groups and had many older women--grandmothers, mothers, sisters, aunts, cousins--to turn to for support and advice.
Today, a lot of women are living far away from their families and don't have many friends--or any friends at all--who have children. They literally have no one around to observe or casually ask for advice. In that environment, motherhood can feel overwhelming and terrifying because you don't have any reference for whether or not you're doing the right thing.
Given the circumstances, it's not surprising that internet message boards are filling the vacuum. It's too bad that so many of the boards are filled with truly spectacularly bad advice.
"Women don't have any faith in their innate mothering abilities because I don't think that mothering is really innate."
I agree that for some it may not be. Unfortunately too many message boards are infiltrated by The Crazies for them to be an appropriate source of information for a mother seeking assistance. Better to go with your gut than go with an MDC suggestion, in my opinion. The more mothering a woman does on her own accord, the more confidence she has in her abilities. It can be an ice cold pool, but sometimes you just have to trust yourself and jump in.
" The more mothering a woman does on her own accord, the more confidence she has in her abilities. It can be an ice cold pool, but sometimes you just have to trust yourself and jump in." 100% agree with that statement
Whatever philosophy a mother has, whether its a mix of the past self-healing remedies or present medical advances, its best to be an independent mother. A momma who spends every two weeks in a docs office because she can't figure out how to keep a cold under control.....is really a waste of time momma. In that case I'd suggest natural mothering as opposed to docs help for every runny nose....
I think it is best to keep our faces off of the computer screens and facing our own children! Human nature says "adult activities" are so important.....what about the parenting activities of actually taking care of the child and nurturing the child. Those aspects are of vital importance that are so desperately neglected today, it practically makes me sick to my stomach.
Make it a goal.....10 minutes or less on those dirty internet forums and blogs..... Forums and blogs are addicting like cigarettes......very unhealthy to family relationships.
Li said what I wanted to.
But also, you are assuming that people mindlessly follow any and all advice given to them. I would say that's it's their rejection of the advice family and friends are giving them that drives them to the internet, to find a philosophy that feels right to them.
I can't tell you how many times I've posted on internet message boards simply to tell someone that their baby's behaviour is normal, and been met with profound relief.
They serve a good purpose, and if the MDC moderators weren't so dedicated to pruning the posts to present the party line, then it would serve a good purpose, too.
If you want to see what threads look like before moderator intervention, head over to trollswithwoodenspoons.com
These MDC women drive me crazy. They've devoted hours/day/weeks? to learning large amounts of incorrect facts about vaccines and they just don't get it that anti-vax sites aren't really the best source for information. Arg, and arguing with them is useless since even when you show one person why one claim is false, you still have 100 claims left to debunk and after a few debunkings you get banned for not being "supportive".
The only reason I read MDC is because it's interesting to see just how delusional people can be. Btw, I know most people there really are good people and I'm not criticizing all 100,000 members or whatever the number is, but the "loudest" people there seem pretty fucked up.
In 20 years, I hope these women can look back and laugh at themselves.
I will check trollswithwoodenspoons.com out.
Ditto on the MDC front. I read sort of as an anthropologist - it does truly have a broad spectrum of socio-economic and cultural diversity, and sometimes the combination are fascinating (like when you see a quiverful Christian mom of 8 agreeing with a self-professed queer dyke with a pregnant wife on the benefits of cloth diapering...).
I personally avoid the GD, family bed, anti-vax and anti-circ forums, and try to be a voice of reason in the other forums I frequent. If you ignore the crazies, there are some pretty amazing women who post there, though it only takes one nutcase...
and yeah, you don't go to MDC for a reasoned discussion about certain topics. For example, I circ'd my boys - and I just don't talk about it there. When I did, I was accused of maiming my children's genitals. THAT was an experience...
Many strange clames contain a kernel of truth.
In Africa and Romania, AIDS was spread when children were vaccinated one after another with the same hypodermic needles, not sterilized in between.
Not relevant to discussion of vaccination in countries with access to disposable needles and good sterilization equipment, but enough to set off a line of confusion.
well, actually, the theory isn't that AIDS is spread by vaccination, but that a simian virus jumped species when monkey tissue was used to culture polio vaccine for africa. the tissue samples in question have been tested and have been reported to be clean, but this isn't irrational conspiracy nut stuff.
http://www.nature.com/nature/links/010426/010426-4.html
Brilliance!
Chiming in late here to tell you, oh, how I completely agree with you. It's a huge, HUGE trainwreck over there at MDC. Peggy O'Mara has more than a little bit of the crazy, and so do the vast majority of the posters on the forums. I read over there for a laugh, but I can't help but feel terrible for so many of those kids whose mothers only care about living certain ideals and not what's best for their children. :(
I think I love you...lol....
You are so spot on those forums. The moderation of ANY and ALL rational sane discussion makes me want to bang my head against a brick wall repeatedly, but yet I go back for more.
lol oh how I wish I'd found this post in a timely manner! there is a thread at theperfectworld.us which skewers MDC and oh it makes me laugh so hard. I love that others see it as crazy as I do.
The magazine itself has an editor who is an honest-to-goodness HIV Denier. The hell is that you ask? They are people who in fact, do not believe that HIV is the cause of AIDS. Unfortunately this leads to people refusing HIV treatment for themselves...and alas for their children. Sad story. If you ever want to see a pediatrician's head explode have them read some of the MDC forums on health. ha!
There are THOUSANDDS of members in MDC from all backgrounds, and very few of them are "hardcore crunchy"
It is unfair for you to pick the most controversial posts and throw them here are a representation of what MDC is about.
I could just as well go to BabyCenter and very easily find idiotic posts written by women who blindly follow what they learn on Cosmo and who, when the doctor tells them "jump", they ask "how high" You won't see BabyCenter being mocked on MDC though, because it is part of the user agreement not to criticize other websites and name call others.
What you don't know is that the mainstream sheeple mentality you and your friends are so proud of, such as CIO, circumcision, spanking etc, are not accepted nor common in other developed nations outside the USA.
Dear "Anonymous,"
I don't usually get into it with people who are too chicken shit to leave their actual name when criticizing my blog - but I am particularly peeved at your post because, if you read even a fraction of my other blog entries before submitting your drivel, you would know that I am completely opposed to infant circumcision, CIO, and spanking.
If any group could be categorized as "sheeple," it is the radical nitwits over at MDC who follow bizarre and unorthodox parenting practices, routinely put their children in harm's way, hold unsupported views about health and modern medicine - all for the satisfaction of appearing "crunchier than thou" and the false sense of superiority such outlandish parenting engenders in insecure mothers.
Maureen
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