Jon & Kate + the Key Grip and Sound Guy and Publicist and Pitbull Attorney

My parents are not divorced. I am not divorced. Still, I know that divorce hurts kids. Is divorce a necessary evil? Sure. There are definitely situations where ending the marriage is the lesser of two evils, and spares children from greater pain. But really, and I know I am being a total hard-ass here, when you have minor children you should try to stay together.

Even if you are unhappy.

Yes, I said it! Even. If. You. Are. Unhappy. Because, frankly, I've been unhappy. I have been furious with my husband. I have been disillusioned with marriage. I have seen the greener grass. I have felt misunderstood, taken for granted, stifled, burdened, lonely - and I have about the best husband in the world. So I get that most people do not exist in a constant state of marital euphoria. The expectation is there - I know - that we will all marry our soulmate and live happily ever after, perpetually connected and madly in love - but the truth is that every marriage has its ups and downs. You have good days and bad days, good years and not so good years. Sometimes you wonder who is sleeping in the bed next to you and what has become of your life. Sometimes you can't keep your hands off each other. It's a cliche to say that marriage is hard work - but it's also very true. And even more true is that inevitably, the days when you feel awful about your marriage give way to more days when you know you married someone amazing.

So Jon & Kate have decided to divorce. They think the transgressions that have occurred have made it impossible for them to reconcile and go on as a stable family unit. They are willing to let eight children feel the deep wound of a broken family - of parents who can no longer live together. I say, bullshit. There is very little that cannot be fixed. And what cannot be fixed can often be endured. I once read in a magazine that divorce is when parents put down their cross to bear, so that their children have to pick it up as their burden to carry. And although I do believe that there can be legitimate reasons for ending a marriage, I do not believe that children can emerge from the experience unscathed.

So Jon & Kate, what happened that was so bad that you are now willing to sacrifice your babies on the altar of happiness? What are you not willing to endure for them? These are eight kids that you've thrust into the limelight without their consent - eight kids you chose to bring into this world, who have struggled for your love and attention. And now you wish to divide that further. What happened?

I'll tell you what happened. You got married too young. Instead of trying for several years to conceive naturally, you jumped right into fertility treatments and conceived twins before Jon was ready to take on that kind of responsibility. Then, you did fertility treatments again and chose to inseminate when you knew Kate's ovaries were hyper-stimulated. You conceived a totally unnatural number of babies and endured an extremely high-risk pregnancy and prematurely delivery of a literal litter of premature infants. This was all before you were 30 years of age!

Instead of hunkering down and accepting the help and love from your families, you chose to alienate and exclude them for totally ridiculous reasons. Kate, clearly mentally ill, ran roughshod over Jon and metaphorically clipped his balls off as she demeaned and berated him incessantly. Then, they got the television show. Jon stopped working outside the home. Kate loved the attention and the money, and Jon was bewildered by the notoriety and commitments.

Then, all hell broke loose. Jon, desiring a break, blew off some steam with coeds at a bar. Totally inappropriate. But then Kate martyred herself as the "good mother," working while Jon was partying. She wanted people to believe that she'd been wronged, that Jon was acting like an immature teenager (which he was), but didn't want to accept any responsibility for it.

We all watched Kate verbally abuse Jon on the television program - which leaves me to wonder how much worse their private discussions were. Kate routinely made Jon feel like the family "had" to continue to reality series, because Jon was not capable of making enough money to support the family in the way she felt was necessary. Then, because Jon did not enjoy speaking engagements and paid televisions appearances, Kate took up those things (which she enjoyed) and proceeded to accuse Jon of "not working" while she was out busting her butt. Let's face it - it's important for a man to support his family. Men who aren't working can become depressed and aimless pretty quickly. Kate told Jon to "go back to school" or "go get a job" - but the insinuation was that he should do those things, not to make money for the family, but so that he could have something to do besides hang about the home. No man goes to work just to while away the hours - men work because taking care of their families makes them feel LIKE MEN.

So, blah blah blah they filed for divorce. Who's surprised? Kate loves being a celebrity, and Jon just wants a break from the whole thing. She was tired of "doing all the work" and he was tired of being henpecked and ridiculed. But it's almost as though the Gosselin family has forgotten that they are, in fact, just that - a family. A couple who loved each other so much that they decided to get married and make babies. A couple who have many problems, yes, but also many children who don't need any more uncertainty in their lives. At the end of the day, kids want to know that their parents love one another and that their family situation is secure. I have a feeling the Gosselin kids are already damaged from the way their parents have treated one another, and will only be further harmed by the demise of the marital union.

Jon and Kate have enough money to stop doing the reality show. They could reconnect with Kate's parents and move near them. Jon could find a job that would cover the family's expenses. Kate could do the mom thing, without the cameras around. They could enter therapy to work on their relationship. They could bust their butts, just like families all over the United States do, and fight to reclaim the vision they once shared for their family. United in their love for their eight children, they could strive toward recapturing the love they once shared and letting go of past hurts.

Alternatively, they could agree that they will never understand one another, that their marriage was all a big mistake, but that in order to provide their kids with a stable family, stay together and make the best of it. They could agree to put down their swords and be friends, to be kind to one another, put on a happy front for the kids, co-parent, do things as a family - but to end the fight for any kind of spiritual or romantic connection. When the sextuplets are 18 and out of the home, they could revisit the idea of ending the marriage, having lovingly and selflessly given their kids their full childhood with family intact. Of course, this is the more difficult thing to do because it requires enormous self-sacrifice and discipline.

And somehow, I don't think these two "adults" are prepared to do anything of the sort. So, get the popcorn going and take a seat on the couch - it's going to get ugly - but, thankfully for us, it will all be broadcast!