From the Mouths of Babes

Sadly, last month my uncle died. His body was cremated. While I always thought cremation was the less heinous of the body-disposal options, the entire experience struck me in a surprising way. Because I had to explain it to Bridget. Our conversation went like this:

Bridget: Where is Uncle Bob?

Me: Well, his soul is in Heaven with God, and since he doesn't need his body anymore, he's left it behind and we have to do something with it.

Bridget: Like what?

Me: Well, most people either bury their body in the ground, or put the body in a sealed cubby, or they have it cremated.

Bridget: Why is that box so small? Is he in there?

Me: Well, no, not really, he was cremated so that is just what remains.

Bridget: What's cremated?

Me: Well, once a person dies and their soul goes to Heaven, and they don't need their body anymore, it gets put into a big oven and burned up. That's one way to deal with a dead body. Then, we take the ashes and do something special with them.

Bridget: You put him in an oven?

Me: Well, I didn't. And it's not really him. It's just his old body.

Bridget: Well, where's his head?

As you can see this conversation was just getting more and more convoluted as I attempted to "break it down" for her. Clearly, Bridget dissociates someone's head from their "body." So I had to continue on:

Me: Well, his head was put into the oven because it was attached to the rest of his body.

Bridget: (totally unfazed) Well, is it red?

Me: Is what red?

Bridget: His body in an oven.

Me: I think it's pretty much gray now.

Bridget: But an oven is very very hot.

Me: Yes, that's true. But the ashes aren't hot anymore.

Bridget: You know who else did die?

Me: Who?

Bridget: Gook (my grandpa.)

Me: Yes, he did die when you were a baby. Now Uncle Bob and Gook are together again in Heaven.

Bridget: Where's Heaven?

Me: We don't know.

Bridget: It's in the sky. And God is the sun.

Me: Well, Jesus is the son of God, but God is not the sun. God made the sun. The word "sun" has two meanings - one can mean someone's child that's a boy, and one can mean the sun in the sky that makes the Earth bright in the daytime.

Bridget: Did Gook get put in a big oven too?

Me: No, Gook is in a cubby at the cemetery (will save story of having his coffin relocated and the ensuing disaster for a later date.)

Bridget: Heaven is in the clouds probably.

Me: We won't know until we get there.

Bridget: You know who else did die?

Me: Who?

Bridget: A bird at Grandma's house. We said a prayer.

Me: That's really nice, Bridg.

Even though these conversations are tricky, because I have to carefully choose my words so as to make the concepts grasp-able for Bridget and not too scary, I really do have fun explaining the more complex parts of life to her. I enjoy this part of parenting. I mean, I don't enjoy the part where family members die, but I have a great appreciation for my role in shaping the way my kids think and feel about the serious stuff of life.

Next up - war, homosexuality, and the origins of meat. Fun times.